THE CLUB'S 2019 SPORTING CALENDAR
World Series XXX competitors gather greenside at Shelly Beach's 18th hole.
On a perfect late autumn afternoon, World Series XXX competitors gather greenside at Shelly Beach's 18th hole. From l to r - Trent
Strange, Henney Stenson, Peard Fulke, Soldier Montgomerie, JPY Hayes, Seve Hemosteros, Per-Ulrik Fatcatsson, Bourkie Baird, Edwardo Romero, Cavey Pavin, Big Jack Daley, Dick Faldo, Notah Kelly, Jose-Mumma
Olazabal, Tubby Waldorf, Java Haas, Kenny Crenshaw, Hunter Meehan and Davidson Love (missing Kipper Parnevik).
Hover (or tap) to enlarge image
Hover (or tap) to enlarge image
Kenny Crenshaw (left), the 2018 Match Play Champion, receives the trophy from last year's winner, Java Haas.
Kenny Crenshaw (left), the 2018 Match Play Champion, receives the prestigous Stephen Angry Anderson trophy from last year's winner, Java Haas. Also
in attendance were Channel 7's "Kochie" (bottom left) and in the background, some extras from 'The Handmaid's Tale'.
EARLWOOD STOCK EXCHANGE
Beercoin's listed price is underpinned by the cost of a schooner of Resch's served in the public bar of The Entrance Hotel during the World Series of Golf (1 schooner = 1 Beercoin).
1989 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Seve Hemosteros
MP - Davidson Love III
1990 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Java Haas
MP - Tubby Waldorf
1991 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Per-Ulrik Fatcatsson
MP - Davidson Love III
1992 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Jose-Mumma Olazabal
MP - Shigeki Moroneyama
1993 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Jose-Mumma Olazabal
MP - Tack Nicklaus
1994 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Garry Mize
MP - Davidson Love III
1995 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Big Jack Daley
MP - Hal Whitton
1996 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Seve Hemosteros
MP - Cavey Pavin
1997 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - JPY Hayes
MP - Vijay Field
1998 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Java Haas
MP - Costantino Blocker
1999 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Jose-Mumma Olazabal
MP - Soldier Montgomerie
2000 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Jose-Mumma Olazabal
MP - Dick Faldo
2001 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Hunter Meehan
MP - Ford Funk
2002 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Tubby Waldorf
MP - Vijay Field
2003 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Seve Hemosteros
MP - Shigeki Moroneyama
2004 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Kipper Parnevik
MP - Davidson Love III
2005 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Java Haas
MP - Bluey Dunk
2006 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Tack Nicklaus
MP - Edwardo Romero
2007 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - JPY Hayes
MP - Kipper Parnevik
2008 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Kipper Parnevik
MP - Notah Kelly
2009 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Peard Fulke
MP - Ken Crenshaw
2010 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Notah Kelly
MP - Peard Fulke
2011 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Edwardo Romero
MP - Henney Stenson
2012 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Cavey Pavin
MP - Kipper Parnevik
2013 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Davidson Love III
MP - Bourkie Baird
2014 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Davidson Love III
MP - Boo Boo Weekley
2015 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - JPY Hayes
MP - Grantief Goosen
2016 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Soldier Montgomerie
MP - Muzzy Zoeller
2017 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Notah Kelly
MP - Java Haas
2018 GOLF CHAMPIONS
WS - Seve Hemosteros
MP - Ken Crenshaw
WOOD 'N STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN
combined with a profound interest in Anglican theological fashion, he confirmed travelling to and from Saints games with the wildly flamboyant and gregarious Froggy Smith had caused him
to ponder on the emptiness and shallowness of his own existence and probably made him susceptible to the overtures of the fringe religious group
View the complete ESG&EC Folklore Series
WHITEBOARD AFFAIR SNAGS HANDICAPPER
Tubby Waldorf was accused of failing to observe the rudimentary protocols of golf handicapping. Opposition leader Alexander Downer said, 'The annual Match Play Championship
is one of Australia's premier sporting and cultural events, combining the pomp, ceremony and tradition of a British royal coronation with the appalling drunken behaviour of Munich's Ocktoberfest patrons
View the complete ESG&EC Folklore Series
QATAR TO HOST 2015 WORLD SERIES
When the local press suggested Daley's latest alterations to the Al-Wakrah layout, originally planned to resemble the sails of a dhow boat, now made the course look like an 'enormous vagina', Daley replied,
'The resemblance to a woman's flange is more subliminal than intentional, but I for one love it
View the complete ESG&EC Folklore Series
DAILY TELEGRAPH ATTACKS THE TACK
erstwhile colleagues and friends of Nicklaus were disappointingly quick to jump on the Webster bandwagon. Lady Morisset, a prominent member of Lake Macquarie high society, stated, 'When I first
cohabitated with Tack, every morning I woke up, looked at him and just wanted to heave. The nausea slowly recedes with time but it never quite goes away
View the complete ESG&EC Folklore Series
BATTLE FOR ESG&EC PRESIDENCY
and I say to them today, I will not hand control of the ESG&EC over to Davidson Love III, Edwardo Romero and Big Jack Daley. The old regime will never again dictate the
fortunes of our club, nor will they regain control of what they covet most - access to the potentially lucrative Dickworth-Lewis golf handicap algorithms
View the complete ESG&EC Folklore Series
CLUB OPENS WALDORF MENS HEALTH CENTRE IN PENANG
this includes a relaxing golden shower at either single flow (the Cavey Pavin) or dual flow (the Seve Hemosteros) courtesy of your caddies during or after your round and a free consultation with our immigration
specialist, The Judge, should you be looking to import a caddy on a 457 visa
View the complete ESG&EC Folklore Series
OUR "LORD LUCAN" SEEKS 2012 PLAYING TICKET
Jack acknowledged that he'd been in a very dark place when he went to Samoa. It was extremely fortunate, now he's sought readmittance to the tour, that their Medicare system could not afford to
remove his enormous genitalia - it would have blown the island's entire health budget
View the complete ESG&EC Folklore Series
THE FATCATSSON REVIEW
the evidence is that the player's basic golf skills are diminishing in key areas; in particular driving, long irons, short irons, steam irons - Jose-Mumma Olazabal being the sole exception, chipping,
sand play and putting. General athleticism, game sense/match awareness and golf expertise has fallen markedly in this period
View the complete ESG&EC Folklore Series
DON LANE TRIVIA QUIZ
This quiz has been compiled by Ford Funk, an Immigration Judge and Australian President of the Don Lane Lay the Cable Institute. He is also a director of the discreet humanitarian aid
organisation, The 386 Society.
True or false? Kim told The Judge about her night with Don and his unusual request
View the complete ESG&EC Folklore Series
ANSWERS TO DON LANE TRIVIA QUIZ
True.
Unusual request? The Judge says it's a very normal and natural function although he accepts not everyone lays one on top of a custom built glass top coffee table in the lounge room
View the complete ESG&EC Folklore Series
2019 WORLD SERIES NEWS
February 3. Prospective Costa Plenti Estate residents are required to send their $200 accommodation deposit, half of which is non-refundable, to President Love's Cayman
Island account by Friday, February 15. The cost of a bed on the estate is $400 with final $200 payable early May.
The tournament entry fee is $450 and should also be preferably paid prior to the tour.
After receiving notices of withdrawal from three of last year's players (Bourkie Baird, Jose-Mumma Olazabal and JPY Hayes), WS XXXI, starting on May 13, will likely
have around 20 starters. Confirmed venues are Gosford (Monday), Wyong (Tuesday), Toukley (Thursday) and Shelly Beach (Friday).
The week long sporting and cultural extravaganza, incorporating two sanctioned World Series events, has been christened 'The 31 Unlucky for Some Tour'.
POST 2018 MATCH PLAY FINANCIAL STATEMENT
November 26. The club has released it's latest audited post-tournament accounts.
Balance Pre Match Play - $3138.85
MP Revenue - $1190 (17 players)
MP Expenses - $2404 (green fees 978, prizemoney 700, milestones 200, hospitality 526)
Tournament Loss - $1214
Balance Post Match Play - $1924.85 (includes $200 deposit with Shelly Beach for 2019)
Davidson Love III
Club President & Auditor
CRENSHAW WINS 2018 THE PINNACLE
November 25. Kenny Crenshaw won his second match play title after defeating Notah Kelly 5 & 4 in The
Pinnacle's championship match. The final never reached any great heights after Crenshaw cruised to a lead of 4 up after only 7 holes.
So complete and one-sided was the victory, former President Seve Hemosteros left the presentation area early to attend the Sydney FC v Melbourne Victory soccer
match. "It couldn't be any worse than the crap served up today," opined the harsh critic of the club's playing standard.
Crenshaw's win comes on the back of a remarkable run - this was his third consecutive final. He played off 9 when he lost to Grantief Goosen (2015), 6 when he lost
to Java Haas (2017) and 3 in this year's final. His 2019 handicap, +2, reflects that success.
2019 WORLD SERIES DATES
September 19. President Love has confirmed dates for next year's "31 Unlucky for Some Tour".
World Series of Golf XXXI will be held the week of May 13-17 with Shelly Beach already locked in for Friday's stroke round.
This early confirmation will allow for better planning and hopefully eliminate the possiblity of members being double booked by their household guardians.
CHRIS RYAN WINS NRL TIPPING COMPETITION
September 3. Chris Ryan has won the club's 2018 NRL Tipping Competition after selecting a perfect round (10 winners) on the last weekend and
pocketed $2,000 for his efforts.
Chris tallied 304 pts to finish two points clear of 2014 winner Jemima Todd ($1500) with a further point to Peter Escott ($1000) who lamented a last minute try off a forward pass in the
Gold Coast-NQld game cost him a share of the winner's spoils. 4th ($600) and 5th ($400) went Vanessa McCoy (298 pts) and Mark Adams (296 pts).
POST 2018 WORLD SERIES FINANCIAL STATEMENT
May 19. The club has released it's latest audited post-tournament accounts.
Balance Pre World Series - $3568.50
WS Revenue - $8470 (21 players + 1 tourist)
WS Expenses - $8899.65 (course costs 3959, golf extras - ids, balls, shirts 1268.75, milestones 150, prizemoney and trophy 1560, hospitality - tues lunch, wed lunch and betting,
fri bar tab, beercoins 1706.90, refunds - kentie and early fri leavers 255)
Tournament Loss - $429.65
Balance Post World Series - $3138.85 (includes $200 deposit with Shelly Beach for 2019)
Davidson Love III
Club President & Auditor
2018 WORLD SERIES - HEMO DOES IT AGAIN!
May 18. Seve Hemosteros (pictured), the man primarily responsible for the creation of the Earlwood Social
Golf & Euchre Club, has won the club's milestone 30th World Series of Golf.
Entering the final round at Shelly Beach as one of 3 co-leaders, the big-hitting sometime Blue Bay resident saw off their title aspirations and then repelled the late challenge of
Peard Fulke to record his 4th Central Coast victory (previously won 1989, 1996 and 2003).
Fulke's late run was a welcome return to form for the veteran NRL Interchange Official and he was joined on the podium by 3rd place-getter, the uber-consistent Kenny Crenshaw.
THURSDAY, MARCH 14TH
NRL TIPPING COMPETITION
Hurry, hurry, hurry, step right up, enter a competition offering a measured increase in wealth combined with life-changing international acclaim to it's most successful tipster.
The ESG&EC is again running it's innovative online rugby league tipping competition, 1. "A Competition With A Difference".
Your pre-paid $80 entry fee guarantees 25 bouts of weekly angst.
There are a few things that make our competition stand apart from all the others. The first is so very simple and yet fiendishly difficult - you don't make a selection in every game. On a normal
weekend, you "only" need to pick 6 winners from any of the 8 games. These 6 picks are known as your scratch selections.
Second, we add a another class of selections to the mix - handicap selections. The underdog in each game is given a points start and you must select a further 4 winners, again from any of the 8 games,
taking the starts into account.
Besides our major prizes, there are 2. 10 opportunities during the season to win some cash. And finally, we conduct an entertaining, professional and most importantly a
transparent competition as evidenced by the fact in 2018 two-thirds of participants had been tipping with us for 10 years or more. More detailed information can be found on the
Competition Rules page in the NRL Tipping area of this website.
1. The ESG&EC's "A Competition With A Difference", although sharing sporting, pseudo-celebrity and gambling
interests and greatly admiring the now defunct charity's business acumen and chutzpah, was regrettably never associated with The Shane Warne Foundation
2. Based on the 2018 competition with 97 tipsters
If you are interested in participating, click here to email us your details.
SATURDAY, MAY 11TH
THE 31 UNLUCKY FOR SOME TOUR
Like every May for the past 30 years, the ESG&EC will pack up it's bag of tricks, golf sticks and 3. Scanlen's footy cards
and travel up to the NSW Central Coast to conduct it's week-long festival of sport and provide solace and cheer to the 4. good burghers of The Entrance.
As well as the two World Series tournaments, the club hosts the annual head-to-head Profanity Challenge between the undisputed potty-mouth heavyweights, 5. Edwardo 'The Prince' Romero
and Big Jack 'The African' Daley. Big Jack will not only test the steely resolve of the Polish prince, who practices his simple but robust
vocabulary whilst driving a f*#klift at Flemington Markets, he has also put organisers on notice like Michael Caine manning the walls of Rorke's Drift in the movie 'Zulu'. President Love has taken the prudent option to
include The African natural disaster options (pestilence, war, famine and death) in our tournament public liability policy. The ESG&EC has also written to The Entrance Chamber of
Commerce, the local constabulary, and registered clubs and liquor outlets within a 10km radius alerting them to 6. Big Jack's pending return.
3. Visit the NRL Tpping area of this website to see our extensive collection of 1980 Scanlens footy cards
4. Not to be confused with Geoff Burg, a rather bad burgher
5. The Prince's finest effort on tour was fitting four profanities, all starting with the letter F, into a five-word sentence. The sentence, which
contained a noun, transitive verb, adjective and pronoun, an independent clause and a present tense, still managed to convey a very precise meaning
6. In 2012, after a 7 year sabbatical, The African returned in typically pugnacious style. After actively participating in our voluntary pre-tournament
sea-level acclimatisation and hydration program, he was barred from the Diggers RSL that night and followed up 24 hours later by being escorted from The Entrance Leagues Club. Both actions were the result of
Big Jack's 'straight talking'
MONDAY, MAY 13TH
WORLD SERIES OF GOLF
The feature tournament of 'The 31 Unlucky For Some Tour', World Series XXXI will tee-off on Monday, May 13, at Gosford and conclude with The Championship Round at Shelly Beach on Friday, May 17.
The venues for Tuesday and Thursday are Wyong and Toukley.
Four-time winner and defending champion Seve Hemosteros will headline the expected international field of Rich Kent, *Kipper Parnevik, Henney Stenson, *Peard Fulke, *Garry Mize, Muzzy Zoeller, *Java Haas, Kenny Crenshaw,
*Davidson Love III, *Edwardo Romero, Thongchai JD, Sir Dick Faldo, *Hunter Meehan, *Big Jack Daley, *Cavey Pavin, *Soldier Montgomerie, Trent Strange, *Notah Kelly III, *Per-Ulrik Fatcatsson and *Tubby Waldorf (*past champion).
View World Series handicaps.
WEDNESDAY, MAY 15TH
WORLD SERIES OF EUCHRE
The secondary tournament of 'The 31 Unlucky For Some Tour', the World Series of Euchre, is played mid-week at The Entrance Hotel Euchredome.
The knock-out event is held after Wednesday's races and begins with the all important draw for partners conducted by Blue "Six Card" Sheedy B.Eu (Hons), the Earlwood Euchre University's professor emeritus.
According to the wily old matchmaker last year's winners, Cavey Pavin & Dick Faldo, will start at long odds to team up let alone go back to back.
2018 World Series of Euchre Results.
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 10TH
THE PINNACLE, A MATCH PLAY EVENT
Featuring some of the toughest and most picturesque holes on the Cooks Peninsula, The Royal & Ancient Marrickville Old Course will host the thirty-first
running of our home event, The Pinnacle. 2018 winner, Kenny Crenshaw, will attempt to create history by successfully defending the Stephen Angry Anderson Trophy.
The tournament is a handicap match play event and, unless we have exactly 16 competitors, play begins with the Don Lane Invitational stroke qualifying round. The event will likely start on Sunday,
November 10, and span 3 consecutive weekends with the semi-finals by default set down for the Friday before the Championship Match.
View Match Play handicaps.