Parking Sign

Registered Office

Earlwood Social
Golf & Euchre Club LLC

ESG&EC World
Series of Golf Pty Ltd

ESG&EC Match Play Championship Inc

ESG&EC World
Series of Euchre Trust

ESG&EC NRL Tipping Ponzi Scheme No.1

Smoke Da Greyhound Syndicate Ponzi Scheme No.2

Yamba Charitable
Works Fund No.1
(Charity Begins At Home)

Davidson Love
Glorious Foundation

Earlwood Social Golf & Euchre Club Home Page

Celebrating Years Of Resch's Enhanced Sporting Excellence

This site is optimised for

Firefox logo
 

The ESG&EC proudly endorses the following products and services for their professional, nutritional, therapeutic and social cohesion values ...

Resch's beer tap with surfer

Resch's Draught.
The refreshing beverage that turns ordinary people into urban sophisticates

Resch's Pilsener Always the Favourite

Resch's Pilsener.
"Always the Favourite"

 

COOPER
CARPENTRY

 
Thinking about making changes to your humble abode ??
 
Cooper Carpentry can make your dream a reality.
 
Call Bluey, the man in the Dunlop Volleys, for a quote.
 
0411 226 085

Resch's Pilsener beach poster

Resch's Pilsener.
"Cool and Refreshing" when you're at the beach ...
 
... or when you put your feet up at home after a hard day at the office

Relaxing after work with Resch's Pilsener
Excel Logistics logo

Import or export, put
your load in our hands!

 

www.excellogistics.com.au

 

phone  (61 2) 9792 2802

Resch's Pilsener pub poster of boxing event

Resch's Long Bottle Pilsener.
The beer for all
sporting occassions

Resch's Pilsener ideal at the 19th hole

Resch's Pilsener.
Ideal at the 19th hole

DeeDees Candles logo

Hand Made Candles -
Kitchen Candles, Mason Jars, Tumblers, Tea Cups, Vintage Glass and Votives

 

www.deedeescandles.com.au

 

0431 697 705

Resch's Dinner Ale

Resch's Dinner Ale.
The beer of choice for
active surf life savers

Resch's pub poster displayed in the NRL museum

Resch's Beer.
The beer that turns
good club players into
great Test players

CPA

Need help setting up or managing your SMSF?
We can't show you his face but *Rob's a CPA who uses an Oral-B toothbrush.
Contact Fatcat for a referral to a business where the motto is "All Kerr, No Responsibility"

COOPER
CARPENTRY

 
Where your building needs and our skills meet as neatly as tongue and groove flooring.
 
Call Bluey, the man in the Dunlop Volleys, for a quote.
 
0411 226 085

Resch's pub poster of Australia v England match

Resch's Dinner Ale.
The perfect post Test
match aperitif

Resch's pub poster of Newtown v Eastern Suburbs match

Resch's Beer.
The drink of choice for
rugby league's eye gougers

Clemton Park Cake Shop pie menu

Clemton Park Cake Shop
208C William Street
Clemton Park NSW 2206
phone  9718 2571

 

Home of the acclaimed
Clemton Park meat pie range

 

Plain, Pepper, Chilli, Tomato & Onion, Curry, Cheese & Bacon, Mushroom and Potato

Resch's DA ad

Resch's DA.
The ever popular and ...
 
... "Cool and Refreshing"
Dinner Ale

Resch's pub poster of swimming carnival
Palmerbet logo

The 110% Australian owned
racing and sports bookmaker

 

www.palmerbet.com

 

phone  1300 123 238

Resch's the beer we drink 'round here (NSW)

Resch's Draught.
Known to cure chronic abscesses, tuberculosis, cholera, "female complaints", mercurial eruptions, paralysis and even restore life in the event of sudden death

Resch's Long Bottle Pilsener

Resch's Pilsener.
Now for the best round
of them all - Resch's Long Bottle Pilsener

COOPER
CARPENTRY

 
Where cooper rhymes with super duper and carpentry with er, um, arh ??
 
Lost for words over your building project ??
 
Call Bluey, the man in the Dunlop Volleys, to fill in the blanks
 
0411 226 085

Newtown Jets logo

The mighty Newtown Jets,
2012 NSW Cup Premiers

 
Resch's beer coaster

Like the immutable laws of
physics, somethings are just
universally acknowledged

Queen's Slipper Playing Cards

Needing to win the final trick and leading an off suit 7, the euchre rascal's cry is, "Get around little doggie!"

ESG&EC Logo
 

2019 SPORTS CALENDAR

EARLWOOD TIME

RESULTS FOR FATCAT'S NRL TIPPING COMPETITION

September 8, 2019.  It came down to match 192, Penrith vs Newcastle, the last game of the season to determine the outcome in Fatcat's annual NRL Tipping Competition, "A Competition With A Difference".  Charbel Hatem's epic 19 point final round saw him jump from 8th place to equal first with Peter Escott and they split $3,500.

Marc Taylor finished 3rd ($1,000) 3 points behind the winning duo and 1 point ahead of BJ Malone and last year's winner Chris Ryan ($500 each).

Rounds 17-25 segment winners were Shaun Froggatt (overall 135pts) and Marc Taylor (handicap 53pts).  The inaugural Gilling Legacy "winner" was Annie Mustow who redeemed her $80 entry fee after a thoroughly underwhelming debut season.

The 6 tipsters who gained entry - through a combination of skill and good fortune - to the competition's $250 lucky door prize, The Finals Series, are Charbel Hatem, Peter Escott, Mark Young, Michael Blaser, Connie Spence and John Hermsen.

DATE CONFIRMED FOR 2020 WORLD SERIES

August 27, 2019.  World Series XXXII will be played Monday, May 18 through Friday, May 22.  The first and most important piece in the planning jigsaw, Shelly Beach, has been locked in for Friday's Championship Round.

And following the shocking revelations of money laundering and human trafficking revealed in the Federal Parliament in recent weeks, the club is officially distancing itself from junket operator Blue Sheedy who has aligned his business activities with the popular week-long sporting and cultural festival.

Of particular concern for authorities is the allegation an illegal casino has been operating from inside his rented luxurious waterfront apartment.  The media-shy entrepreneur has been accused of luring drunken and weary high-rollers back to his apartment with the promise of "wine, men and song" plus a few tasty morsels like cheese and crackers, chocolate bullets and salted peanuts.

Sheedy, presently on his annual winter caravan junket meeting other like-minded high rollers around Far North Queensland, was contacted but declined to comment as he was in the middle of a winner take all poker game with indigenous elder, Auntie Nookie, for a Coles $30 food voucher.

VALE GAZ PHILLIPS

August 5, 2019.  The club received news this morning of the sudden death of UK-based tipster and past ESG&EC member Gary Phillips.  Gaz suffered a heart attack during a social cricket match and was unable to be revived.

Gary Phillips

This is a very recent photo of Gaz (middle) borrowed from the Pudsey St Lawrence Cricket Club website.  He's with brother-in-law John McGovern (hat), his niece Frances and sister, Lyn McGovern.

Our deepest condolences to Tracy and Liam on the loss of a loving husband and father and to all his family and friends.

Vale Gaz - a great friend to many on these shores.

DATES CONFIRMED FOR MATCH PLAY XXXI

July 25, 2019.  President Love has confirmed dates for the 2019 Match Play CHampionship.

The tournament will start on Sunday, November 10 (the first weekend after the Melbourne Cup) with the Don Lane Invitational Qualifier and run for three consecutive Sundays, concluding with The Championship Match on Sunday, November 24.  Each Sunday has a noon tee-time.

The President is aware the Bong Bong Cup is on the Friday prior to the final and is prepared to make reasonable allowances for any member of the Bong Bong 6 who reaches the semi-finals.

CLUB DENIES RESPONSIBILITY FOR ENVIRONMENTAL DISASTER (Part 1)

May 20, 2019.  ESG&EC officials have been questioned by Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) investigators over the befoulment of Budgewoi Lake last Thursday.  Even at this early stage, the situation has been described by authorities as a looming ecological disaster.

The EPA has identified an area just out of bounds on the 14th hole of Toukley golf course as the sole source of the contamination, a spot where human stool types 6 and 7 were found in abundance, along with a few soiled baby wipes and some discarded imodium packaging.

EPA cleanup

Investigators surmise there maybe some interlaced toilets sheets yet to be uncovered in the surrounding areas although they remain perplexed as to why any individual would attempt to smuggle used toilet paper from the heavily polluted scene.

story continues in Part 2 ...

CLUB DENIES RESPONSIBILITY FOR ENVIRONMENTAL DISASTER (Part 2)

May 20, 2019.  A despondent EPA spokesman said, "What we are truly struggling with is the absolute indifference shown towards this pristine waterway and it's marine life.  Can you believe it?  Not more than a 100 metres away from where we stand is an on course toilet !"

Hazmat team setting up hydrojet

Earlier the same day, police cordoned off a 10 metre exclusion zone around the mens toilet next to the Toukley pro shop after the discovery of a bubbling faecal time bomb.  After using industrial fans to disperse the sickening fumes, a fully-kitted Hazmat team (pictured) was eventually able to enter the crapper to decontaminate and breakdown the human waste through a combination of chemical retardant and 30 or so flushes from a high pressure hydrojet power washer.

Authorities contacted the club after reports suggested our members were playing a turd round that day but they've since been assured it was just a regular Day 3 of the World Series.  The club is fully co-operating as the search for the culprit, one very sick hombre indeed, continues.

CLUB FINANCIAL STATEMENT POST 2019 WORLD SERIES

May 19, 2019.  The club has released it's latest audited post-tournament accounts.

Balance Pre World Series - $1,924.85 (included $200 deposit with Shelly Beach for 2019)

WS Revenue - $7,390 (16 players + 2 tourists)
WS Expenses - $6,460.03 (course costs 3032, golf extras - ids, balls, shirts 1106.13, milestones 100, prizemoney 1450, hospitality - tues lunch, wed lunch, fri bar tab, beercoins 771.90)

Tournament Profit - $929.97

Balance Post World Series - $2,854.82 (includes $200 deposit with Shelly Beach for 2020)

Davidson Love III
Club President & Auditor

LOVE CONQUERS ALL

Davidson Love III

May 17, 2019.  After a near 25 year drought, Club President Davidson Love III (pictured) has now strung together 3 World Series of Golf victories (2013, 2014 and 2019) in his past 6 starts.

Love finished on 6pts with wins in Monday's teams match play (paired with Notah Kelly) and Tuesday's stableford aggregate (partnered with Hunter Meehan) and seconds in the individual stableford (29pts) and stroke events (net 82).

Shire resident Hunter Meehan showed a welcome return to form with only his second podium finish in the past 15 starts.  Meehan's results were a 2 & 1 loss in the teams match play (Rich Kent), a win in the stableford aggreagte (Love), a fourth and fifth in the individual events to finish on 13pts.

Brookvale Oval NRL interchange official Peard Fulke rounded out the placings on 16pts after a win in the teams match play (Romero), a fourth in the stableford aggregate (Strange), and a third and eighth in the individual events.

CLUB FINANCIAL STATEMENT POST 2018 MATCH PLAY

November 26, 2018.  The club has released it's latest audited post-tournament accounts.

Balance Pre Match Play - $3,138.85

MP Revenue - $1,190 (17 players)
MP Expenses - $2,404 (green fees 978, prizemoney 700, milestones 200, hospitality 526)

Tournament Loss - $1,214

Balance Post Match Play - $1,924.85 (includes $200 deposit with Shelly Beach for 2019)

Davidson Love III
Club President & Auditor

CRENSHAW WINS 2018 THE PINNACLE

Kenny Crenshaw

November 25, 2018.  Kenny Crenshaw (pictured) won his second match play title after defeating Notah Kelly 5 & 4 in The Pinnacle's championship match.  The final never reached any great heights after Crenshaw cruised to a lead of 4 up after only 7 holes.

So complete and one-sided was the victory, former President Seve Hemosteros left the presentation area early to attend the Sydney FC v Melbourne Victory soccer match.  "It couldn't be any worse than the crap served up today," opined the harsh critic of the club's playing standard.

Crenshaw's win comes on the back of a remarkable run - this was his third consecutive final.  He played off 9 when he lost to Grantief Goosen (2015), 6 when he lost to Java Haas (2017) and 3 in this year's final.  His 2019 handicap, +2, reflects that success.

EARLWOOD STOCK EXCHANGE

Beercoin

Beercoin's listed price is underpinned by the cost of a schooner (425ml) of Resch's served in the public bar of The Entrance Hotel during the World Series of Golf (1 schooner = 1 Beercoin).  In the 12 months to May 2019, Beercoin's market capitalisation rose 4.5% to $1,035.  Hover or tap Beercoin image to enlarge.

TOUKLEY ENVIRONMENTAL DISASTER

The EPA has identified an area just out of bounds on the 14th hole of Toukley golf course as the sole source of the contamination, a spot where human stool types 6 and 7 were found in abundance, along with a few soiled baby wipes and discarded imodium packaging

An excerpt from the Club Folklore Series

WOOD 'N STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN

combined with a profound interest in Anglican theological fashion, he confirmed travelling to and from Saints games with the wildly flamboyant and gregarious Froggy Smith had caused him to ponder on the emptiness and shallowness of his own existence and probably made him susceptible to the overtures of the fringe religious group

An excerpt from the Club Folklore Series

WHITEBOARD AFFAIR SNAGS HANDICAPPER

Tubby Waldorf was accused of failing to observe the rudimentary protocols of golf handicapping.  Opposition leader Alexander Downer said, 'The annual Match Play Championship is one of Australia's premier sporting and cultural events, combining the pomp, ceremony and tradition of a British royal coronation with the appalling drunken behaviour of Munich's Ocktoberfest patrons

An excerpt from the Club Folklore Series

QATAR TO HOST 2015 WORLD SERIES

When the local press suggested Daley's latest alterations to the Al-Wakrah layout, originally planned to resemble the sails of a dhow boat, now made the course look like an 'enormous vagina', Daley replied, 'The resemblance to a woman's flange is more subliminal than intentional, but I for one love it

An excerpt from the Club Folklore Series

DAILY TELEGRAPH ATTACKS THE TACK

erstwhile colleagues and friends of Nicklaus were disappointingly quick to jump on the Webster bandwagon.  Lady Morisset, a prominent member of Lake Macquarie high society, stated, 'When I first cohabitated with Tack, every morning I woke up, looked at him and just wanted to heave.  The nausea slowly recedes with time but it never quite goes away

An excerpt from the Club Folklore Series

BATTLE FOR ESG&EC PRESIDENCY

and I say to them today, I will not hand control of the ESG&EC over to Davidson Love III, Edwardo Romero and Big Jack Daley.  The old regime will never again dictate the fortunes of our club, nor will they regain control of what they covet most - access to the potentially lucrative Dickworth-Lewis golf handicap algorithms

An excerpt from the Club Folklore Series

CLUB OPENS WALDORF MENS HEALTH CENTRE IN PENANG

this includes a relaxing golden shower at either single flow (the Cavey Pavin) or dual flow (the Seve Hemosteros) courtesy of your caddies during or after your round and a free consultation with our immigration specialist, The Judge, should you be looking to import a caddy on a 457 visa

An excerpt from the Club Folklore Series

OUR "LORD LUCAN" SEEKS 2012 PLAYING TICKET

Jack acknowledged that he'd been in a very dark place when he went to Samoa.  It was extremely fortunate, now he's sought readmittance to the tour, that their Medicare system could not afford to remove his enormous genitalia - it would have blown the island's entire health budget

An excerpt from the Club Folklore Series

THE FATCATSSON REVIEW

the evidence is that the player's basic golf skills are diminishing in key areas; in particular driving, long irons, short irons, steam irons (Jose-Mumma Olazabal being the sole exception), chipping, sand play and putting.  General athleticism, game sense/match awareness and golf expertise has fallen markedly in this period

An excerpt from the Club Folklore Series

DON LANE TRIVIA QUIZ

This quiz has been compiled by Ford Funk, an Immigration Judge and Australian President of the Don Lane Lay the Cable Institute.  He is also a director of the discreet humanitarian aid organisation, The 386 Society.
True or false?
Kim told The Judge about her night with Don and his unusual request

An excerpt from the Club Folklore Series

ANSWERS TO DON LANE TRIVIA QUIZ

True.
Unusual request?  The Judge says it's a very normal and natural function although he accepts not everyone lays one on top of a custom built glass top coffee table in the lounge room

An excerpt from the Club Folklore Series

JAVA TOURNAMENT CLOCK

1989 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Seve Hemosteros
MP - Davidson Love III

1990 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Java Haas
MP - Tubby Waldorf

1991 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Per-Ulrik Fatcatsson
MP - Davidson Love III (2nd win)

1992 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Jose-Mumma Olazabal
MP - Shigeki Moroneyama

1993 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Jose-Mumma Olazabal (2nd win)
MP - Tack Nicklaus

1994 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Garry Mize
MP - Davidson Love III (3rd win)

1995 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Big Jack Daley
MP - Hal Whitton

1996 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Seve Hemosteros (2nd win)
MP - Cavey Pavin

1997 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - JPY Hayes
MP - Vijay Field

1998 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Java Haas (2nd win)
MP - Costantino Blocker

1999 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Jose-Mumma Olazabal (3rd win)
MP - Soldier Montgomerie

2000 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Jose-Mumma Olazabal (4th win)
MP - Dick Faldo

2001 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Hunter Meehan
MP - Ford Funk

2002 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Tubby Waldorf
MP - Vijay Field (2nd win)

2003 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Seve Hemosteros (3rd win)
MP - Shigeki Moroneyama (2nd win)

2004 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Kipper Parnevik
MP - Davidson Love III (4th win)

2005 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Java Haas (3rd win)
MP - Bluey Dunk

2006 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Tack Nicklaus
MP - Edwardo Romero

2007 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - JPY Hayes
MP - Kipper Parnevik

2008 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Kipper Parnevik (2nd win)
MP - Notah Kelly

2009 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Peard Fulke
MP - Ken Crenshaw

2010 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Notah Kelly
MP - Peard Fulke

2011 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Edwardo Romero
MP - Henney Stenson

2012 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Cavey Pavin
MP - Kipper Parnevik (2nd win)

2013 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Davidson Love III
MP - Bourkie Baird

2014 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Davidson Love III (2nd win)
MP - Boo Boo Weekley

2015 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - JPY Hayes (2nd win)
MP - Grantief Goosen

2016 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Soldier Montgomerie
MP - Muzzy Zoeller

2017 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Notah Kelly (2nd win)
MP - Java Haas

2018 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Seve Hemosteros (4th win)
MP - Ken Crenshaw (2nd win)

2019 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Davidson Love III (3rd win)
MP - ???

WINNERS OF BOTH GOLF MAJORS

1.  Tubby Waldorf - 1990 MP and 2002 WS

WINNERS OF BOTH GOLF MAJORS

2.  Tack Nicklaus - 1993 MP and 2006 WS

WINNERS OF BOTH GOLF MAJORS

3.  Kipper Parnevik - 2004 WS and 2007 MP

WINNERS OF BOTH GOLF MAJORS

4.  Notah Kelly III - 2008 MP and 2010 WS

WINNERS OF BOTH GOLF MAJORS

5.  Peard Fulke - 2009 WS and 2010 MP

WINNERS OF BOTH GOLF MAJORS

6.  Edwardo Romero - 2006 MP and 2011 WS

WINNERS OF BOTH GOLF MAJORS

7.  Cavey Pavin - 1996 MP and 2012 WS

WINNERS OF BOTH GOLF MAJORS

8.  Davidson Love III - 1989 MP and 2013 WS

WINNERS OF BOTH GOLF MAJORS

9.  Soldier Montgomerie - 1999 MP and 2016 WS

WINNERS OF BOTH GOLF MAJORS

10.  Java Haas - 1990 WS and 2017 MP

MARCH - NRL TIPPING COMP

This site hosts Fatcat's annual NRL Tipping Competition, "A Competition With A Difference", which for $80 guarantees participants 25 bouts of weekly angst and untold international acclaim to the winner, as well as a financial reward best described as life unchanging.

This year's top tipsters were Charbel Hatem and Peter Escott (equal 1st with 321pts), Marc Taylor (3rd with 318pts), BJ Malone and 2018 winner Chris Ryan (equal 4th with 317pts).   The Rounds 17-25 segment winners were Shaun Froggatt (overall 135pts) and Marc Taylor (handicap 53pts).

MAY - LOVE CONQUERS ALL TO POST THIRD WORLD SERIES OF GOLF VICTORY

After a near 25 year drought, Club President Davidson Love III has strung together 3 World Series victories (2013, 2014 and 2019) in his past 6 starts.  Critics of the Love regime have suggested when you control the schedule, the events, handicaps, playing partners, finances and even the weather you should own the tournament and it's becoming quite obvious he does.

Love finished on 6pts with wins in Monday's teams match play (partnered with Notah Kelly) and Tuesday's stableford aggregate (paired with Hunter Meehan) and seconds in the individual stableford (29pts) and stroke events (net 82).

MAY - THE "T" BROTHERS, TUBBY AND TRENT, WIN EUCHRE WORLD SERIES

The knockout tournament was played at The Entrance Hotel Euchredome during the week-long '31 Unlucky For Some Tour' and began with the all important draw for partners conducted by "Six Card" Sheedy B.Eu (Hons), the Earlwood Euchre University's professor emeritus.  16 players, 8 teams, 1 winner - the team of Tubby Waldorf & Trent Strange who in a stunning upset defeated self-acknowledged cardmasters Per-Ulrik Fatcatsson & "Six Card" Sheedy 2 & 1.

AUGUST - NEWTOWN JETS REUNION DAY

Newtown's final home game of the season on Saturday, August 31, doubles as the Jets (and Bluebags) official reunion day.  The ESG&EC is always well represented at this annual gathering, meeting at hipster heaven, the Henson Park Hotel, for a pre-game aperitif and watching the match (3pm kick-off) from the Lee Harvey Oswald grassy knoll adjacent to the King George V Memorial Grandstand and kiosk.  This year the Jets ran out comfortable winners over the Newcastle Knights 34 - 22 to consolidate their finals position.

NOVEMBER - MATCH PLAY CHAMPIONSHIP

The opening round will be held on Sunday, November 10, with the first group off the tee at midday.  Players must report to the starter 30 minutes beforehand with a schooner and their 1. $100 entry fee in hand.  Unless we have exactly 16 competitors, The Don Lane Invitational (a stroke event in 2019) will determine the 8 qualifiers seeded through to the match play Round of 8 at midday on Heckle Sunday, November 17.

The semi-final matches are by default set down for the following 2. Friday afternoon, November 22, unless both players and President Love III (Ret.) agree to a change.  The tournament concludes with the Championship Match on Sunday, November 24 (midday start).

1. Covers all tournament green fees

2. President Love has decreed that should a member of the Bong Bong 6 reach the semi-finals, their match would be by default played earlier in the week (Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday as determined by their opponent) as they'll be mingling with Southern Highlands High Society on Thursday and Friday

ESG&EC Logo

Edmund Resch Brewer by Appointment to the Governor-General

Edmund Resch