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Registered Office

Earlwood Social
Golf & Euchre Club LLC

ESG&EC World
Series of Golf Pty Ltd

ESG&EC Match Play Championship Inc

ESG&EC World
Series of Euchre Trust

ESG&EC NRL Tipping Ponzi Scheme No.1

Smoke Da Greyhound Syndicate Ponzi Scheme No.2

Yamba Charitable
Works Fund No.1
(Charity Begins At Home)

Davidson Love
Glorious Foundation

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Earlwood Social Golf & Euchre Club Home Page

Celebrating Years Of Resch's Enhanced Sporting Excellence

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The ESG&EC proudly endorses the following products and services for their professional, nutritional, therapeutic and social cohesion values ...

Resch's beer tap with surfer

Resch's Draught.
The refreshing beverage that turns ordinary people into urban sophisticates

Resch's Pilsener Always the Favourite

Resch's Pilsener.
"Always the Favourite"

 

COOPER
CARPENTRY

 
Thinking about making changes to your humble abode ??
 
Cooper Carpentry can make your dream a reality.
 
Call Bluey, the man in the Dunlop Volleys, for a quote.
 
0411 226 085

Resch's Pilsener beach poster

Resch's Pilsener.
"Cool and Refreshing" when you're at the beach ...
 
... or when you put your feet up at home after a hard day at the office

Relaxing after work with Resch's Pilsener
Excel Logistics logo

Import or export, put
your load in our hands!

 

www.excellogistics.com.au

 

phone  (61 2) 9792 2802

Resch's Pilsener pub poster of boxing event

Resch's Long Bottle Pilsener.
The beer for all
sporting occassions

Resch's Pilsener ideal at the 19th hole

Resch's Pilsener.
Ideal at the 19th hole

DeeDees Candles logo

Hand Made Candles -
Kitchen Candles, Mason Jars, Tumblers, Tea Cups, Vintage Glass and Votives

 

www.deedeescandles.com.au

 

0431 697 705

Resch's Dinner Ale

Resch's Dinner Ale.
The beer of choice for
active surf life savers

Resch's pub poster displayed in the NRL museum

Resch's Beer.
The beer that turns
good club players into
great Test players

CPA

Need help setting up or managing your SMSF?
We can't show you his face but *Rob's a CPA who uses an Oral-B toothbrush.
Contact Fatcat for a referral to a business where the motto is "All Kerr, No Responsibility"

COOPER
CARPENTRY

 
Where your building needs and our skills meet as neatly as tongue and groove flooring.
 
Call Bluey, the man in the Dunlop Volleys, for a quote.
 
0411 226 085

Resch's pub poster of Australia v England match

Resch's Dinner Ale.
The perfect post Test
match aperitif

Resch's pub poster of Newtown v Eastern Suburbs match

Resch's Beer.
The drink of choice for
rugby league's eye gougers

Clemton Park Cake Shop pie menu

Clemton Park Cake Shop
208C William Street
Clemton Park NSW 2206
phone  9718 2571

 

Home of the acclaimed
Clemton Park meat pie range

 

Plain, Pepper, Chilli, Tomato & Onion, Curry, Cheese & Bacon, Mushroom and Potato

Resch's DA ad

Resch's DA.
The ever popular and ...
 
... "Cool and Refreshing"
Dinner Ale

Resch's pub poster of swimming carnival
Palmerbet logo

The 110% Australian owned
racing and sports bookmaker

 

www.palmerbet.com

 

phone  1300 123 238

Resch's the beer we drink 'round here (NSW)

Resch's Draught.
Known to cure chronic abscesses, tuberculosis, cholera, "female complaints", mercurial eruptions, paralysis and even restore life in the event of sudden death

Resch's Long Bottle Pilsener

Resch's Pilsener.
Now for the best round
of them all - Resch's Long Bottle Pilsener

COOPER
CARPENTRY

 
Where cooper rhymes with super duper and carpentry with er, um, arh ??
 
Lost for words over your building project ??
 
Call Bluey, the man in the Dunlop Volleys, to fill in the blanks
 
0411 226 085

Newtown Jets logo

The mighty Newtown Jets,
2012 NSW Cup Premiers

 
Resch's beer coaster

Like the immutable laws of
physics, somethings are just
universally acknowledged

Queen's Slipper Playing Cards

Needing to win the final trick and leading an off suit 7, the euchre rascal's cry is, "Get around little doggie!"

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THE CLUB'S 2019 SPORTING CALENDAR

2018 World Series of Golf

World Series XXX competitors gather greenside at Shelly Beach's 18th hole.

On a perfect late autumn afternoon, World Series XXX competitors gather greenside at Shelly Beach's 18th hole.  From l to r - Trent Strange, Henney Stenson, Peard Fulke, Soldier Montgomerie, JPY Hayes, Seve Hemosteros, Per-Ulrik Fatcatsson, Bourkie Baird, Edwardo Romero, Cavey Pavin, Big Jack Daley, Dick Faldo, Notah Kelly, Jose-Mumma Olazabal, Tubby Waldorf, Java Haas, Kenny Crenshaw, Hunter Meehan and Davidson Love (missing Kipper Parnevik).

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2018 Match Play Championship

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Kenny Crenshaw (left), the 2018 Match Play Champion, receives the trophy from last year's winner, Java Haas.

Kenny Crenshaw (left), the 2018 Match Play Champion, receives the prestigous Stephen Angry Anderson trophy from last year's winner, Java Haas.  Also in attendance were Channel 7's "Kochie" (bottom left) and in the background, some extras from 'The Handmaid's Tale'.

EARLWOOD TIME

EARLWOOD STOCK EXCHANGE

Beercoin

Beercoin's listed price is underpinned by the cost of a schooner of Resch's served in the public bar of The Entrance Hotel during the World Series of Golf (1 schooner = 1 Beercoin).

1989 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Seve Hemosteros
MP - Davidson Love III

1990 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Java Haas
MP - Tubby Waldorf

1991 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Per-Ulrik Fatcatsson
MP - Davidson Love III

1992 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Jose-Mumma Olazabal
MP - Shigeki Moroneyama

1993 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Jose-Mumma Olazabal
MP - Tack Nicklaus

1994 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Garry Mize
MP - Davidson Love III

1995 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Big Jack Daley
MP - Hal Whitton

1996 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Seve Hemosteros
MP - Cavey Pavin

1997 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - JPY Hayes
MP - Vijay Field

1998 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Java Haas
MP - Costantino Blocker

1999 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Jose-Mumma Olazabal
MP - Soldier Montgomerie

2000 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Jose-Mumma Olazabal
MP - Dick Faldo

2001 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Hunter Meehan
MP - Ford Funk

2002 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Tubby Waldorf
MP - Vijay Field

2003 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Seve Hemosteros
MP - Shigeki Moroneyama

2004 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Kipper Parnevik
MP - Davidson Love III

2005 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Java Haas
MP - Bluey Dunk

2006 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Tack Nicklaus
MP - Edwardo Romero

2007 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - JPY Hayes
MP - Kipper Parnevik

2008 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Kipper Parnevik
MP - Notah Kelly

2009 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Peard Fulke
MP - Ken Crenshaw

2010 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Notah Kelly
MP - Peard Fulke

2011 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Edwardo Romero
MP - Henney Stenson

2012 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Cavey Pavin
MP - Kipper Parnevik

2013 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Davidson Love III
MP - Bourkie Baird

2014 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Davidson Love III
MP - Boo Boo Weekley

2015 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - JPY Hayes
MP - Grantief Goosen

2016 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Soldier Montgomerie
MP - Muzzy Zoeller

2017 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Notah Kelly
MP - Java Haas

2018 GOLF CHAMPIONS

WS - Seve Hemosteros
MP - Ken Crenshaw

WOOD 'N STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN

combined with a profound interest in Anglican theological fashion, he confirmed travelling to and from Saints games with the wildly flamboyant and gregarious Froggy Smith had caused him to ponder on the emptiness and shallowness of his own existence and probably made him susceptible to the overtures of the fringe religious group

View the complete ESG&EC Folklore Series

WHITEBOARD AFFAIR SNAGS HANDICAPPER

Tubby Waldorf was accused of failing to observe the rudimentary protocols of golf handicapping.  Opposition leader Alexander Downer said, 'The annual Match Play Championship is one of Australia's premier sporting and cultural events, combining the pomp, ceremony and tradition of a British royal coronation with the appalling drunken behaviour of Munich's Ocktoberfest patrons

View the complete ESG&EC Folklore Series

QATAR TO HOST 2015 WORLD SERIES

When the local press suggested Daley's latest alterations to the Al-Wakrah layout, originally planned to resemble the sails of a dhow boat, now made the course look like an 'enormous vagina', Daley replied, 'The resemblance to a woman's flange is more subliminal than intentional, but I for one love it

View the complete ESG&EC Folklore Series

DAILY TELEGRAPH ATTACKS THE TACK

erstwhile colleagues and friends of Nicklaus were disappointingly quick to jump on the Webster bandwagon.  Lady Morisset, a prominent member of Lake Macquarie high society, stated, 'When I first cohabitated with Tack, every morning I woke up, looked at him and just wanted to heave.  The nausea slowly recedes with time but it never quite goes away

View the complete ESG&EC Folklore Series

BATTLE FOR ESG&EC PRESIDENCY

and I say to them today, I will not hand control of the ESG&EC over to Davidson Love III, Edwardo Romero and Big Jack Daley.  The old regime will never again dictate the fortunes of our club, nor will they regain control of what they covet most - access to the potentially lucrative Dickworth-Lewis golf handicap algorithms

View the complete ESG&EC Folklore Series

CLUB OPENS WALDORF MENS HEALTH CENTRE IN PENANG

this includes a relaxing golden shower at either single flow (the Cavey Pavin) or dual flow (the Seve Hemosteros) courtesy of your caddies during or after your round and a free consultation with our immigration specialist, The Judge, should you be looking to import a caddy on a 457 visa

View the complete ESG&EC Folklore Series

OUR "LORD LUCAN" SEEKS 2012 PLAYING TICKET

Jack acknowledged that he'd been in a very dark place when he went to Samoa.  It was extremely fortunate, now he's sought readmittance to the tour, that their Medicare system could not afford to remove his enormous genitalia - it would have blown the island's entire health budget

View the complete ESG&EC Folklore Series

THE FATCATSSON REVIEW

the evidence is that the player's basic golf skills are diminishing in key areas; in particular driving, long irons, short irons, steam irons - Jose-Mumma Olazabal being the sole exception, chipping, sand play and putting.  General athleticism, game sense/match awareness and golf expertise has fallen markedly in this period

View the complete ESG&EC Folklore Series

DON LANE TRIVIA QUIZ

This quiz has been compiled by Ford Funk, an Immigration Judge and Australian President of the Don Lane Lay the Cable Institute.  He is also a director of the discreet humanitarian aid organisation, The 386 Society.
True or false?  Kim told The Judge about her night with Don and his unusual request

View the complete ESG&EC Folklore Series

ANSWERS TO DON LANE TRIVIA QUIZ

True.
Unusual request?  The Judge says it's a very normal and natural function although he accepts not everyone lays one on top of a custom built glass top coffee table in the lounge room

View the complete ESG&EC Folklore Series

2019 WORLD SERIES NEWS

February 3.  Prospective Costa Plenti Estate residents are required to send their $200 accommodation deposit, half of which is non-refundable, to President Love's Cayman Island account by Friday, February 15.  The cost of a bed on the estate is $400 with final $200 payable early May.

The tournament entry fee is $450 and should also be preferably paid prior to the tour.

After receiving notices of withdrawal from three of last year's players (Bourkie Baird, Jose-Mumma Olazabal and JPY Hayes), WS XXXI, starting on May 13, will likely have around 20 starters.  Confirmed venues are Gosford (Monday), Wyong (Tuesday), Toukley (Thursday) and Shelly Beach (Friday).

The week long sporting and cultural extravaganza, incorporating two sanctioned World Series events, has been christened 'The 31 Unlucky for Some Tour'.

POST 2018 MATCH PLAY FINANCIAL STATEMENT

November 26.  The club has released it's latest audited post-tournament accounts.

Balance Pre Match Play - $3138.85

MP Revenue - $1190 (17 players)
MP Expenses - $2404 (green fees 978, prizemoney 700, milestones 200, hospitality 526)

Tournament Loss - $1214

Balance Post Match Play - $1924.85 (includes $200 deposit with Shelly Beach for 2019)

Davidson Love III
Club President & Auditor

CRENSHAW WINS 2018 THE PINNACLE

Kenny Crenshaw

November 25.  Kenny Crenshaw won his second match play title after defeating Notah Kelly 5 & 4 in The Pinnacle's championship match.  The final never reached any great heights after Crenshaw cruised to a lead of 4 up after only 7 holes.

So complete and one-sided was the victory, former President Seve Hemosteros left the presentation area early to attend the Sydney FC v Melbourne Victory soccer match.  "It couldn't be any worse than the crap served up today," opined the harsh critic of the club's playing standard.

Crenshaw's win comes on the back of a remarkable run - this was his third consecutive final.  He played off 9 when he lost to Grantief Goosen (2015), 6 when he lost to Java Haas (2017) and 3 in this year's final.  His 2019 handicap, +2, reflects that success.

2019 WORLD SERIES DATES

September 19.  President Love has confirmed dates for next year's "31 Unlucky for Some Tour".

World Series of Golf XXXI will be held the week of May 13-17 with Shelly Beach already locked in for Friday's stroke round.

This early confirmation will allow for better planning and hopefully eliminate the possiblity of members being double booked by their household guardians.

CHRIS RYAN WINS NRL TIPPING COMPETITION

September 3.  Chris Ryan has won the club's 2018 NRL Tipping Competition after selecting a perfect round (10 winners) on the last weekend and pocketed $2,000 for his efforts.

Chris tallied 304 pts to finish two points clear of 2014 winner Jemima Todd ($1500) with a further point to Peter Escott ($1000) who lamented a last minute try off a forward pass in the Gold Coast-NQld game cost him a share of the winner's spoils.  4th ($600) and 5th ($400) went Vanessa McCoy (298 pts) and Mark Adams (296 pts).

POST 2018 WORLD SERIES FINANCIAL STATEMENT

May 19.  The club has released it's latest audited post-tournament accounts.

Balance Pre World Series - $3568.50

WS Revenue - $8470 (21 players + 1 tourist)
WS Expenses - $8899.65 (course costs 3959, golf extras - ids, balls, shirts 1268.75, milestones 150, prizemoney and trophy 1560, hospitality - tues lunch, wed lunch and betting, fri bar tab, beercoins 1706.90, refunds - kentie and early fri leavers 255)

Tournament Loss - $429.65

Balance Post World Series - $3138.85 (includes $200 deposit with Shelly Beach for 2019)

Davidson Love III
Club President & Auditor

2018 WORLD SERIES - HEMO DOES IT AGAIN!

Seve Hemosteros

May 18.  Seve Hemosteros (pictured), the man primarily responsible for the creation of the Earlwood Social Golf & Euchre Club, has won the club's milestone 30th World Series of Golf.

Entering the final round at Shelly Beach as one of 3 co-leaders, the big-hitting sometime Blue Bay resident saw off their title aspirations and then repelled the late challenge of Peard Fulke to record his 4th Central Coast victory (previously won 1989, 1996 and 2003).

Fulke's late run was a welcome return to form for the veteran NRL Interchange Official and he was joined on the podium by 3rd place-getter, the uber-consistent Kenny Crenshaw.

THURSDAY, MARCH 14TH
NRL TIPPING COMPETITION

Hurry, hurry, hurry, step right up, enter a competition offering a measured increase in wealth combined with life-changing international acclaim to it's most successful tipster.

The ESG&EC is again running it's innovative online rugby league tipping competition, 1. "A Competition With A Difference".  Your pre-paid $80 entry fee guarantees 25 bouts of weekly angst.

There are a few things that make our competition stand apart from all the others.  The first is so very simple and yet fiendishly difficult - you don't make a selection in every game.  On a normal weekend, you "only" need to pick 6 winners from any of the 8 games.  These 6 picks are known as your scratch selections.

Second, we add a another class of selections to the mix - handicap selections.  The underdog in each game is given a points start and you must select a further 4 winners, again from any of the 8 games, taking the starts into account.

Besides our major prizes, there are 2. 10 opportunities during the season to win some cash.  And finally, we conduct an entertaining, professional and most importantly a transparent competition as evidenced by the fact in 2018 two-thirds of participants had been tipping with us for 10 years or more.  More detailed information can be found on the Competition Rules page in the NRL Tipping area of this website.

1. The ESG&EC's "A Competition With A Difference", although sharing sporting, pseudo-celebrity and gambling interests and greatly admiring the now defunct charity's business acumen and chutzpah, was regrettably never associated with The Shane Warne Foundation

2. Based on the 2018 competition with 97 tipsters

If you are interested in participating, click here to email us your details.

SATURDAY, MAY 11TH
THE 31 UNLUCKY FOR SOME TOUR

Like every May for the past 30 years, the ESG&EC will pack up it's bag of tricks, golf sticks and 3. Scanlen's footy cards and travel up to the NSW Central Coast to conduct it's week-long festival of sport and provide solace and cheer to the 4. good burghers of The Entrance.

As well as the two World Series tournaments, the club hosts the annual head-to-head Profanity Challenge between the undisputed potty-mouth heavyweights, 5. Edwardo 'The Prince' Romero and Big Jack 'The African' Daley.  Big Jack will not only test the steely resolve of the Polish prince, who practices his simple but robust vocabulary whilst driving a f*#klift at Flemington Markets, he has also put organisers on notice like Michael Caine manning the walls of Rorke's Drift in the movie 'Zulu'.  President Love has taken the prudent option to include The African natural disaster options (pestilence, war, famine and death) in our tournament public liability policy.  The ESG&EC has also written to The Entrance Chamber of Commerce, the local constabulary, and registered clubs and liquor outlets within a 10km radius alerting them to 6. Big Jack's pending return.

3. Visit the NRL Tpping area of this website to see our extensive collection of 1980 Scanlens footy cards

4. Not to be confused with Geoff Burg, a rather bad burgher

5. The Prince's finest effort on tour was fitting four profanities, all starting with the letter F, into a five-word sentence.  The sentence, which contained a noun, transitive verb, adjective and pronoun, an independent clause and a present tense, still managed to convey a very precise meaning

6. In 2012, after a 7 year sabbatical, The African returned in typically pugnacious style.  After actively participating in our voluntary pre-tournament sea-level acclimatisation and hydration program, he was barred from the Diggers RSL that night and followed up 24 hours later by being escorted from The Entrance Leagues Club.  Both actions were the result of Big Jack's 'straight talking'

MONDAY, MAY 13TH
WORLD SERIES OF GOLF

The feature tournament of 'The 31 Unlucky For Some Tour', World Series XXXI will tee-off on Monday, May 13, at Gosford and conclude with The Championship Round at Shelly Beach on Friday, May 17.  The venues for Tuesday and Thursday are Wyong and Toukley.

Four-time winner and defending champion Seve Hemosteros will headline the expected international field of Rich Kent, *Kipper Parnevik, Henney Stenson, *Peard Fulke, *Garry Mize, Muzzy Zoeller, *Java Haas, Kenny Crenshaw, *Davidson Love III, *Edwardo Romero, Thongchai JD, Sir Dick Faldo, *Hunter Meehan, *Big Jack Daley, *Cavey Pavin, *Soldier Montgomerie, Trent Strange, *Notah Kelly III, *Per-Ulrik Fatcatsson and *Tubby Waldorf (*past champion).

View World Series handicaps.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 15TH
WORLD SERIES OF EUCHRE

The secondary tournament of 'The 31 Unlucky For Some Tour', the World Series of Euchre, is played mid-week at The Entrance Hotel Euchredome.

The knock-out event is held after Wednesday's races and begins with the all important draw for partners conducted by Blue "Six Card" Sheedy B.Eu (Hons), the Earlwood Euchre University's professor emeritus.   According to the wily old matchmaker last year's winners, Cavey Pavin & Dick Faldo, will start at long odds to team up let alone go back to back.

2018 World Series of Euchre Results.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 10TH
THE PINNACLE, A MATCH PLAY EVENT

Featuring some of the toughest and most picturesque holes on the Cooks Peninsula, The Royal & Ancient Marrickville Old Course will host the thirty-first running of our home event, The Pinnacle.  2018 winner, Kenny Crenshaw, will attempt to create history by successfully defending the Stephen Angry Anderson Trophy.

The tournament is a handicap match play event and, unless we have exactly 16 competitors, play begins with the Don Lane Invitational stroke qualifying round.  The event will likely start on Sunday, November 10, and span 3 consecutive weekends with the semi-finals by default set down for the Friday before the Championship Match.

View Match Play handicaps.

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