This site is optimised for
The ESG&EC proudly endorses the following products and services for their professional, nutritional, therapeutic and social cohesion values ...
May 20. ESG&EC officials have been questioned by Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) investigators over the befoulment of Budgewoi Lake last Thursday. Even at this early stage, the situation has been described by authorities as a looming ecological disaster.
The EPA has identified an area just out of bounds on the 14th hole of Toukley golf course as the source of the contamination, a spot where human stool types 6 and 7 were found in abundance, along with a few soiled baby wipes and discarded imodium packaging.
Investigators surmise there maybe some interlaced toilets sheets yet to be uncovered in the surrounding areas although they remain perplexed as to why any individual would attempt to smuggle used toilet paper from the heavily polluted scene.
A despondent EPA spokesman said, "What we are truly struggling with is the absolute indifference shown towards this pristine waterway and it's marine life. Can you believe it - not more than a 100 metres away from where we stand is an on course toilet!"
Earlier the same day, police cordoned off a 10 metre exclusion zone around the mens toilet next to the Toukley pro shop after the discovery of a bubbling faecal time bomb. A Hazmat team, wearing respirators because of the noxious fumes emanating from within, was eventually able to disperse the offending matter through a combination of chemical retardant and 30 or so hydrojet flushes.
Authorities contacted the club after reports suggested our members were playing a turd round that day but they've since been assured it was just a regular Day 3 of the World Series. The club is fully co-operating as the search for the culprit, one very sick hombre indeed, continues.
May 19. The club has released it's latest audited post-tournament accounts.
Balance Pre World Series - $1924.85 (included $200 deposit with Shelly Beach for 2019)
WS Revenue - $7390 (16 players + 2 tourists)
WS Expenses - $6460.03 (course costs 3032, golf extras - ids, balls, shirts 1106.13, milestones 100, prizemoney 1450, hospitality - tues lunch, wed lunch, fri bar tab, beercoins 771.90)
Tournament Profit - $929.97
Balance Post World Series - $2854.82 (includes $200 deposit with Shelly Beach for 2020)
Davidson Love III
Club President & Auditor
May 17. After a near 25 year drought, Club President Davidson Love III has now strung together 3 World Series of Golf victories (2013, 2014 and 2019) in his past 6 starts.
Critics of the Love regime have suggested when you control the schedule, the events, handicaps, playing partners, finances and the weather - it couldn't have been better - you should own the tournament and it's becoming quite obvious the President does.
Love finished on 6pts with wins in Monday's teams match play (paired with Notah Kelly) and Tuesday's stableford aggregate (partnered with Hunter Meehan) and seconds in the individual stableford (29pts) and stroke events (net 82).
Shire resident Hunter Meehan showed a welcome return to form with only his second podium finish in the past 15 starts. Meehan's results were a 2 & 1 loss in the teams match play (Rich Kent), a win in the stableford aggreagte (Love), a fourth and fifth in the individual events to finish on 13pts.
Brookvale Oval NRL interchange official Peard Fulke rounded out the placings on 16pts after a win in the teams match play (Romero), a fourth in the stableford aggregate (Strange), and a third and eighth in the individual events.
November 26. The club has released it's latest audited post-tournament accounts.
Balance Pre Match Play - $3138.85
MP Revenue - $1190 (17 players)
MP Expenses - $2404 (green fees 978, prizemoney 700, milestones 200, hospitality 526)
Tournament Loss - $1214
Balance Post Match Play - $1924.85 (includes $200 deposit with Shelly Beach for 2019)
Davidson Love III
Club President & Auditor
November 25. Kenny Crenshaw won his second match play title after defeating Notah Kelly 5 & 4 in The Pinnacle's championship match. The final never reached any great heights after Crenshaw cruised to a lead of 4 up after only 7 holes.
So complete and one-sided was the victory, former President Seve Hemosteros left the presentation area early to attend the Sydney FC v Melbourne Victory soccer match. "It couldn't be any worse than the crap served up today," opined the harsh critic of the club's playing standard.
Crenshaw's win comes on the back of a remarkable run - this was his third consecutive final. He played off 9 when he lost to Grantief Goosen (2015), 6 when he lost to Java Haas (2017) and 3 in this year's final. His 2019 handicap, +2, reflects that success.
The World Series of Euchre was played on May 15 at The Entrance Hotel Euchredome during the week-long '31 Unlucky For Some Tour'.
The knock-out event was held after Wednesday's races and began with the all important draw for partners conducted by "Six Card" Sheedy B.Eu (Hons), the Earlwood Euchre University's professor emeritus. According to the wily old matchmaker last year's winners, Cavey Pavin and Dick Faldo, started at long odds to team up let alone go back to back.
Hunter Meehan & Java Haas def. Edwardo Romero & Soldier Montgomerie 1 up.
Per-Ulrik Fatcatsson & Six Card Sheedy def. Peard Fulke & Kenny Crenshaw 1 up.
Garry Mize & Rich Kent def. Seve Hemosteros & Cavey Pavin 1 up.
Tubby Waldorf & Trent Strange def. Davidson Love & Dick Faldo 1 up.
Per-Ulrik Fatcatsson & Six Card Sheedy def. Hunter Meehan & Java Haas 2 up.
Tubby Waldorf & Trent Strange def. Garry Mize & Rich Kent 2 up.
Tubby Waldorf & Trent Strange def. Per-Ulrik Fatcatsson & Six Card Sheedy 2 & 1.