ESG&EC World Series of Golf
Celebrating Years Of Resch's Enhanced Golfing Excellence
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2020 TOURNAMENT
Monday May 18 through to Friday May 22
on the NSW Central Coast
Shelly Beach 2019 World Series.
World Series XXXI May 2019. L to R - Soldier Montgomerie, Trent Strange, Dick Faldo, Kipper Parnevik, Seve Hemosteros, Per-Ulrik Fatcatsson (fr), Kenny Crenshaw, Java Haas, Rich Kent (fr), Peard Fulke, Cavey Pavin, Hunter Meehan, Edwardo Romero, Garry Mize, Tubby Waldorf and Notah Kelly.
Hover (or tap) to enlarge image
© ESG&EC Media
EARLWOOD TIME
VALE GAZ PHILLIPS
August 5, 2019. The club received news this morning of the sudden death of UK-based tipster and past ESG&EC member Gary Phillips. Gaz suffered a heart attack during a social cricket match and was unable to be revived.
This is a very recent photo of Gaz (middle) borrowed from the Pudsey St Lawrence Cricket Club website. He's with brother-in-law John McGovern (hat), his niece Frances and sister, Lyn McGovern.
Our deepest condolences to Tracy and Liam on the loss of a loving husband and father and to all his family and friends.
Vale Gaz - a great friend to many on these shores.
TENTATIVE DATE SET FOR 2020 WORLD SERIES
August 1, 2019. Shelly Beach has been provisionally booked for Friday, May 22, as the first step in the planning jigsaw for World Series XXXII. An email has been forwarded to all members seeking feedback on the preferred playing schedule of Monday, May 18 to Friday, May 22.
And following the shocking revelations of money laundering and human trafficking revealed in the Federal Parliament over recent days, the club is officially distancing itself from junket operator Blue Sheedy who has aligned his business activities with the popular week-long sporting festival.
Of particular concern for authorities is the allegation an illegal casino has been operating from inside his rented luxurious waterfront apartment. The media-shy entrepreneur has been accused of luring drunken and weary high-rollers back to his apartment with the promise of "wine, men and song" plus a few tasty morsels like cheese and crackers, chocolate bullets and salted peanuts.
Sheedy, presently on his annual winter caravan junket meeting other like-minded high rollers around Far North Queensland, was contacted but declined to comment as he was in the middle of a winner take all poker game with indigenous elder, Auntie Nookie, for a Coles $30 food voucher.
NEWTOWN JETS REUNION DAY SATURDAY AUGUST 31
July 31, 2019. Newtown's final home game of the season against the Newcastle Knights doubles as the Jets (and Bluebags) official reunion day.
A dwindling number of the stars from the 60's, 70's and 80's will be there - or at least those who:
a)
reside in a nursing home with a courtesy bus;
b) nearing the end of their custodial sentence, have been granted weekend release;
and/or
c) are still on the run from authorities.
The ESG&EC is always well represented at this annual gathering, meeting at hipster heaven, the Henson Park Hotel (pictured), for a pre-game aperitif and watching the match (3pm kick-off) from the Lee Harvey Oswald grassy knoll adjacent to the King George V Memorial Grandstand and kiosk.
The Jets have only one other home game before Reunion Day. On Saturday, August 24, they play the Wests Magpies for the Tom Raudonikis Cup (12.45pm start).
DATES CONFIRMED FOR MATCH PLAY XXXI
July 25, 2019. President Love has confirmed dates for the 2019 Match Play CHampionship.
The tournament will start on Sunday, November 10 (the first weekend after the Melbourne Cup) with the Don Lane Invitational Qualifier and run for three consecutive Sundays, concluding with The Championship Match on Sunday, November 24. Each Sunday has a noon tee-time.
The President is aware the Bong Bong Cup is on the Friday prior to the final and is prepared to make reasonable allowances for any member of the Bong Bong 6 who reaches the semi-finals.
CLUB DENIES RESPONSIBILITY FOR ENVIRONMENTAL DISASTER (Part 1)
May 20, 2019. ESG&EC officials have been questioned by Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) investigators over the befoulment of Budgewoi Lake last Thursday. Even at this early stage, the situation has been described by authorities as a looming ecological disaster.
The EPA has identified an area just out of bounds on the 14th hole of Toukley golf course as the sole source of the contamination, a spot where human stool types 6 and 7 were found in abundance, along with a few soiled baby wipes and some discarded imodium packaging.
Investigators surmise there maybe some interlaced toilets sheets yet to be uncovered in the surrounding areas although they remain perplexed as to why any individual would attempt to smuggle used toilet paper from the heavily polluted scene.
story continues in Part 2 ...
CLUB DENIES RESPONSIBILITY FOR ENVIRONMENTAL DISASTER (Part 2)
May 20, 2019. A despondent EPA spokesman said, "What we are truly struggling with is the absolute indifference shown towards this pristine waterway and it's marine life. Can you believe it? Not more than a 100 metres away from where we stand is an on course toilet !"
Earlier the same day, police cordoned off a 10 metre exclusion zone around the mens toilet next to the Toukley pro shop after the discovery of a bubbling faecal time bomb. After using industrial fans to disperse the sickening fumes, a fully-kitted Hazmat team (pictured) was eventually able to enter the crapper to decontaminate and breakdown the human waste through a combination of chemical retardant and 30 or so flushes from a high pressure hydrojet power washer.
Authorities contacted the club after reports suggested our members were playing a turd round that day but they've since been assured it was just a regular Day 3 of the World Series. The club is fully co-operating as the search for the culprit, one very sick hombre indeed, continues.
CLUB FINANCIAL STATEMENT POST 2019 WORLD SERIES
May 19, 2019. The club has released it's latest audited post-tournament accounts.
Balance Pre World Series - $1,924.85 (included $200 deposit with Shelly Beach for 2019)
WS Revenue - $7,390 (16 players + 2 tourists)
WS Expenses - $6,460.03 (course costs 3032, golf extras - ids, balls, shirts 1106.13, milestones 100, prizemoney 1450, hospitality - tues lunch, wed lunch, fri bar tab, beercoins 771.90)
Tournament Profit - $929.97
Balance Post World Series - $2,854.82 (includes $200 deposit with Shelly Beach for 2020)
Davidson Love III
Club President & Auditor
LOVE CONQUERS ALL
May 17, 2019. After a near 25 year drought, Club President Davidson Love III (pictured) has now strung together 3 World Series of Golf victories (2013, 2014 and 2019) in his past 6 starts.
Love finished on 6pts with wins in Monday's teams match play (paired with Notah Kelly) and Tuesday's stableford aggregate (partnered with Hunter Meehan) and seconds in the individual stableford (29pts) and stroke events (net 82).
Shire resident Hunter Meehan showed a welcome return to form with only his second podium finish in the past 15 starts. Meehan's results were a 2 & 1 loss in the teams match play (Rich Kent), a win in the stableford aggreagte (Love), a fourth and fifth in the individual events to finish on 13pts.
Brookvale Oval NRL interchange official Peard Fulke rounded out the placings on 16pts after a win in the teams match play (Romero), a fourth in the stableford aggregate (Strange), and a third and eighth in the individual events.
CLUB FINANCIAL STATEMENT POST 2018 MATCH PLAY
November 26, 2018. The club has released it's latest audited post-tournament accounts.
Balance Pre Match Play - $3,138.85
MP Revenue - $1,190 (17 players)
MP Expenses - $2,404 (green fees 978, prizemoney 700, milestones 200, hospitality 526)
Tournament Loss - $1,214
Balance Post Match Play - $1,924.85 (includes $200 deposit with Shelly Beach for 2019)
Davidson Love III
Club President & Auditor
CRENSHAW WINS 2018 THE PINNACLE
November 25, 2018. Kenny Crenshaw (pictured) won his second match play title after defeating Notah Kelly 5 & 4 in The Pinnacle's championship match. The final never reached any great heights after Crenshaw cruised to a lead of 4 up after only 7 holes.
So complete and one-sided was the victory, former President Seve Hemosteros left the presentation area early to attend the Sydney FC v Melbourne Victory soccer match. "It couldn't be any worse than the crap served up today," opined the harsh critic of the club's playing standard.
Crenshaw's win comes on the back of a remarkable run - this was his third consecutive final. He played off 9 when he lost to Grantief Goosen (2015), 6 when he lost to Java Haas (2017) and 3 in this year's final. His 2019 handicap, +2, reflects that success.
JAVA TOURNAMENT CLOCK
EARLWOOD STOCK EXCHANGE
Beercoin's listed price is underpinned by the cost of a schooner (425ml) of Resch's served in the public bar of The Entrance Hotel during the World Series of Golf (1 schooner = 1 Beercoin). In the 12 months to May 2019, Beercoin's market capitalisation rose 4.5% to $1,035. Hover or tap Beercoin image to enlarge.
STRONG FIELD LIKELY
Three-time winner and defending champion Davidson Love III will headline the expected international field of *JPY Hayes, *Jose-Mumma Olazabal, *Seve Hemosteros, Rich Kent, *Kipper Parnevik, Henney Stenson, *Peard Fulke, Garry Mize, Muzzy Zoeller, *Java Haas, Kenny Crenshaw, Sir Dick Faldo, *Hunter Meehan, *Edwardo Romero, Bourkie Baird, *Big Jack Daley, *Cavey Pavin, *Soldier Montgomerie, *Notah Kelly III, Trent Strange, *Per-Ulrik Fatcatsson and *Tubby Waldorf (*past champion).
THE VENUES AND EVENTS
The teams events, either 1. 4BBB Match Play, Foursomes, Stableford or Stroke Aggregate depending on numbers, will be played Monday and Tuesday at TBA and TBA and the individual events, stableford and stroke, at TBA and Shelly Beach on Thursday and Friday.
1. Refer to the World Series Format page for full details
ACCOMMODATION
For those wanting to stay on the Costa Plenti estate, the working accommodation budget is $400 for the week with a $200 deposit ($100 non-refundable) due to be forwarded to President Love's Cayman Island account by late January to ensure your bed. Apartments will be booked early February once numbers and budgets have been confirmed.
TOUR COSTS
The all-inclusive player entry fee is expected to be a modest $450 which covers green fees and carts, shirts, daily and overall golf prizemoney 2. ($1,450), euchre prize money ($200), topped off with a bite to eat and a few beers after Friday's Championship round.
The entry fee also allows tourists to participate in 'The Resch's Refreshes Hour' for which they will be able to purchase 14 Beercoins for $80. This offer represents over a dollar discount off Beercoin's average 12 month trading price on the Earlwood Stock Exchange.
Entry fees and accommodation balances are to be paid in full by early May through direct deposit to President Love's Cayman Island account. Earlier payment will of course be graciously accepted.
2. The cost of the trophy has been included in the increased prizemoney for the winner. If he wants a trophy, it will have to be paid for out of his prizemoney