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May 20. ESG&EC officials have been questioned by Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) investigators over the befoulment of Budgewoi Lake last Thursday. Even at this early stage, the situation has been described by authorities as a looming ecological disaster.
The EPA has identified an area just out of bounds on the 14th hole of Toukley golf course as the source of the contamination, a spot where human stool types 6 and 7 were found in abundance, along with a few soiled baby wipes and discarded imodium packaging.
Investigators surmise there maybe some interlaced toilets sheets yet to be uncovered in the surrounding areas although they remain perplexed as to why any individual would attempt to smuggle used toilet paper from the heavily polluted scene.
A despondent EPA spokesman said, "What we are truly struggling with is the absolute indifference shown towards this pristine waterway and it's marine life. Can you believe it - not more than a 100 metres away from where we stand is an on course toilet!"
Earlier the same day, police cordoned off a 10 metre exclusion zone around the mens toilet next to the Toukley pro shop after the discovery of a bubbling faecal time bomb. A Hazmat team, wearing respirators because of the noxious fumes emanating from within, was eventually able to disperse the offending matter through a combination of chemical retardant and 30 or so hydrojet flushes.
Authorities contacted the club after reports suggested our members were playing a turd round that day but they've since been assured it was just a regular Day 3 of the World Series. The club is fully co-operating as the search for the culprit, one very sick hombre indeed, continues.
May 19. The club has released it's latest audited post-tournament accounts.
Balance Pre World Series - $1924.85 (included $200 deposit with Shelly Beach for 2019)
WS Revenue - $7390 (16 players + 2 tourists)
WS Expenses - $6460.03 (course costs 3032, golf extras - ids, balls, shirts 1106.13, milestones 100, prizemoney 1450, hospitality - tues lunch, wed lunch, fri bar tab, beercoins 771.90)
Tournament Profit - $929.97
Balance Post World Series - $2854.82 (includes $200 deposit with Shelly Beach for 2020)
Davidson Love III
Club President & Auditor
May 17. After a near 25 year drought, Club President Davidson Love III has now strung together 3 World Series of Golf victories (2013, 2014 and 2019) in his past 6 starts.
Critics of the Love regime have suggested when you control the schedule, the events, handicaps, playing partners, finances and the weather - it couldn't have been better - you should own the tournament and it's becoming quite obvious the President does.
Love finished on 6pts with wins in Monday's teams match play (paired with Notah Kelly) and Tuesday's stableford aggregate (partnered with Hunter Meehan) and seconds in the individual stableford (29pts) and stroke events (net 82).
Shire resident Hunter Meehan showed a welcome return to form with only his second podium finish in the past 15 starts. Meehan's results were a 2 & 1 loss in the teams match play (Rich Kent), a win in the stableford aggreagte (Love), a fourth and fifth in the individual events to finish on 13pts.
Brookvale Oval NRL interchange official Peard Fulke rounded out the placings on 16pts after a win in the teams match play (Romero), a fourth in the stableford aggregate (Strange), and a third and eighth in the individual events.
November 26. The club has released it's latest audited post-tournament accounts.
Balance Pre Match Play - $3138.85
MP Revenue - $1190 (17 players)
MP Expenses - $2404 (green fees 978, prizemoney 700, milestones 200, hospitality 526)
Tournament Loss - $1214
Balance Post Match Play - $1924.85 (includes $200 deposit with Shelly Beach for 2019)
Davidson Love III
Club President & Auditor
November 25. Kenny Crenshaw won his second match play title after defeating Notah Kelly 5 & 4 in The Pinnacle's championship match. The final never reached any great heights after Crenshaw cruised to a lead of 4 up after only 7 holes.
So complete and one-sided was the victory, former President Seve Hemosteros left the presentation area early to attend the Sydney FC v Melbourne Victory soccer match. "It couldn't be any worse than the crap served up today," opined the harsh critic of the club's playing standard.
Crenshaw's win comes on the back of a remarkable run - this was his third consecutive final. He played off 9 when he lost to Grantief Goosen (2015), 6 when he lost to Java Haas (2017) and 3 in this year's final. His 2019 handicap, +2, reflects that success.
There are no club matches this upcoming weekend (June 21st-23rd). The NRL season, Round 15, resumes on Thursday, June 27th.
We are approaching Round 16, our second money point in the competition with $120 available for both best overall and handicap score through Rounds 9-16. You've got two weekends to make an impression on current leaders, Charbel Hatem (overall on 84pts) and Olga Lauricella, Reg Walsh and Dean Stapleton (handicap on 33pts).
Karen Escott won Handicap Knockout No.2. Everybody is back in for Handicap Knockout No.3 - you must select at least two winners to stay alive.
If you're the forgetful type, it may be wise to lodge your selections when you receive the email reminder - they can always be updated before the online cut-off.
Your task this week is to select 6 scratch and 4 handicap winners from the following 8 games (home team listed first):
The online cut-off is 7.50pm Thursday (scheduled kick-off for Wests Tigers vs Souths). Tipsters who miss this important deadline have until 3.00pm Saturday (Gold Coast vs Manly) to email me their late picks but they are penalised 1 selection and are only allowed to submit 9 (5 scratch and 4 handicap) chosen from the remaining, unplayed games.
To lodge your tips online, click here to open the login page, type in your username and password and the games and starts will be displayed under your name. When you have made the required number of selections, the submit button becomes available. Press the submit button - it's the most critical part of lodging your selections - and your tips are on their way to the ESG&EC database. You will receive an almost immediate email confirmation of your selections.
In the unlikely event of a site malfunction, tipsters can lodge selections by email (click here) but they still must be received by me before the respective cut-off time.